There are stories I am not sharing because it isn’t time. Maybe one day I will. Maybe not. They are too dark and too upsetting and I believe as a writer I have no business sharing things I am not in control of. By that I mean, I have not yet worked through having compassion for myself with regard to what happened in those stories. What I did. What substance abuse did to me. But they are there inside of me just the same. They have become touch stones for me as I navigate the wilderness of clean living. Whenever the voice in my mind tries to tell me ‘alcohol isn’t so bad – just have one’ I can recall those stories vividly and they stop me cold.
What you come to learn in sobriety is that you have every right to set up your own boundaries. You can say what you need to say, and not say what you need to keep to yourself. You do not owe anyone an answer or explanation for anything. You need not justify your choices. You can identify your own needs and then make sure they get met. You can walk away from what or who does not deserve you. You can use the tools that serve you well and leave the rest behind.
Perhaps the craziest thing I have learned so far is that getting sober is more about me than about alcohol. So very much more. We are obsessed with drinking in the USA. It’s everywhere. We get trashed in yoga studios and marathons and while painting and celebrating and mourning and everything inbetween. We are surrounded by trash which is all polished and pretty and romanticized and destroying our brains and our memories and numbing out all the good shit.
What an insane journey this is. What an absolute trip to get sane in an insane world.
.
My book Luminae can be purchased on Amazon
You can find me on Instagram @allisonmarieconway
Allison Marie Conway 
I am with you…thanks and take care 🕊️🕊️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Jim. 🤍🕊
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re such a strong person. ❤ I admire your sanity!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for this, so much. We are so much stronger than this world would have us believe. 🤍🤍🤍
LikeLiked by 3 people
I love that you’re documenting this journey of yours, Allison. Years from now when you revisit it, you’re going to feel so empowered by the testimony of faith, fortitude and self love it represents. Not many find the strength to rescue their own selves in this lifetime. You’re an inspiration. My addiction may not be to alcohol, but aren’t we all addiction to some form of escape… perhaps multiple. You inspire me to sit with myself and go through the process to get through it.
On a side- have you watched the series “Mom”? I absolutely loved it – one of the key themes of the series through every season was recovering from alcohol addiction. It’s hilarious too, if you ever want to watch.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you so much, Isha, for your rich and thoughtful comment. I’ve not seen Mom but I appreciate your thinking of me and recommending. 🤍🤍🤍
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️🤗
LikeLiked by 2 people
A trip indeed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Numbing has become our cultural lifestyle of choice and because of it we’ve missed so much of our lives. I’m so incredibly proud of your courage and bravery to take back your life. Hugs, C
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for such kind words, dear C. I’m so incredibly grateful. 🤍🤍🤍
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your lovely voice. I could listen for hours dear Allison. Good afternoon from Michigan.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This makes me smile, thank you John. Sometimes I want to talk for hours. 🤍
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would like. We need people to make us want to talk, laugh and and dance, if we are lucky. I have no-one to talk no-more. Coronavirus killing my poetry workshops. Conversation is the best fore play dear Allison.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I feel you’re such a strong women . Take care of you . And I do understand about not being ready to share your story . I’m feeling that way myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person