
Day fifty (fifty!!!) arrives like an elegant rose which has grown – somehow, impossibly – through a solid stone wall. There is a softness inside which can penetrate even the darkest most menacing prison. What it is is a mystery and it is the deepest truth about yourself. Its vibrations and movements are so incredibly nuanced, intimate, intricate. Excruciating and beautiful. My mind is so sweetly strong, solid, healthy. My body is balanced, true, weightless even as it proudly bears its own precious, undeniable weight.
And after fifty days and nights spent searching my own heart and soul for strength I never quite knew existed, I have arrived to this milestone feeling a kind of way I have never felt before. Like a little bird alighting on a branch (after flying for a very, very, very weary long time) which is pebbled with small tight buds. I can build a home here. It is still dark here but dawn is on its warm, silent, awe-inspiring way. I can gather my tiny resilient twigs one day at a time and when spring winds finally blow I will breathe and watch the flowers spread into new life. Right by my side. Right through the cracks where I have heard it promised that the light gets through. Spring this year is gonna be wild. And it’s gonna be unexpected. And it’s gonna be so, so good.
. . .
P.S. If you are on Instagram you are welcome to follow me there @allisonmarieconway. I am thinking to post more about my journey there as well because I am out of my motherfucking mind but also if sharing my stuff can help you through your stuff that is good stuff.
I’ve been able to quit everything by now (I am almost sixty). Now I’m working on my addiction to ANGER which was probably at the root of it all, and a cover for my fear of SADNESS. Time takes care of everything…but it is so SLOW. “Every difficulty presents an opportunity for practice…and the practice is LIFE.” (which there is no cure for, except death) ๐ค๐ค
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One day at a time, bro. Thatโs all I can say. โ๐ป
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thanks ๐
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Oh my gosh congratulations love!!!
โThere is a softness inside which can penetrate even the darkest most menacing prisonโ – this was a very needed thing to read. Thank you so much ๐ค
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Hi my love I adore you so much thank you endlessly for being here with me. This is truly bananas. ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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Also Iโm over the moon that something here served you. ๐ฅฐ๐๐โจ
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Iโm so so happy that things are becoming so beautiful and clear for you, itโs a hope-giving joy to read. ๐
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Thank you so much, angel. Please promise to tell me if I ever ever become sappy thatโs the fucking worst. ๐๐
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Lolol you are absolutely not sappy ๐
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Thank you so I need someone to keep this shit 100 ๐
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Wonderful writing. Thank you for sharing. And congratulations! Day 50! I followed you. Will you follow me too? https://lovingmyselfandi.home.blog/
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Thank you so very much appreciate it ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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As beautiful and resilient as you, my dear Allison. I applaud you. Wonderful. And through it all, your voice remains. It is you, always reaching feeling you. This brought tears to my eyes: “Right through the cracks where I have heard it promised that the light gets through.” Tiny beginnings, slivers of light that grow, expanding to fill a noble soul.
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Thank you for such a beautiful, eloquent message, my dear George. As ever you get right at the heart of the matter. To say that my voice remainsโฆ how terrified I have been of losing her all this timeโฆ thank you endlessly. That you are here and care so deeply, I canโt begin to say how much that means to me. ๐๐ค๐
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Ever your much appreciated and hopeful friend, my dearest Allison.
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๐ค๐ค๐ค
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I am genuinely proud of you.
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That means so much thank you. ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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Wow, that’s an extraordinary accomplishment, and I can feel your strength and determination. I bought your book luminae a few years back because I love the way you write. Never stop writing! Hugs, C
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Thank you beyond what words could ever say, dear C. For your incredibly kind encouragement of my sobriety (health) and my writing. That you bought Luminae warms my whole heart! ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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Your book is brilliant! ๐
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Thank you you are so wonderful โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
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Hi Allison, beautiful pieceโค๏ธ I started following you on the gram; I go by Triplegoddess78๐
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Thank you so very much, my dear amazing Lisa. ๐ค๐ค๐ค
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