Birthday Cake and Pink Champagne

If I have the chance to choose my cake and eat it too, I always choose vanilla cake with vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles. And a lot of frosting, by the way, if this matters at all which is to say not really, no, it doesn’t in the grand scheme of things. But on this roller coaster ride of a life there are good days and there are bad days and the bad ones can sometimes feel so heavy they threaten to sink you all the way down to the bottom of the oceanic pain inside which you were never quite able to get a handle on long enough to fix or at least lessen to a manageable degree.

It is possible, I like to imagine in my little rosy heart of hearts, that I don’t need to be fixed as much as I just need to be loved and that this is the truest truth about each and every last one of us. Love is perhaps a lofty and ridiculous thing to wish for on one’s birthday but maybe I do wish it anyway. Because I wish I could once and for all understand it on its own terms. Not by tying it to this person or that person or a particular experience or pinning it down definitively as some single-handed savior of the human spirit, but by looking it dead in the face and calling it out.

When you are a kid you just believe. In Santa and the Tooth Fairy and wishes on stars and that you can be anything you want to be when you grow up. You believe, wide-eyed and unquestioning, in magic and serendipity and all that candy-coated romantic poison. But even still, if I recall, it feels quite lovely to believe in something. Believe in it the way I used to before this world fell apart around me over and over again.

Maybe love is drama and love is peace all in the same wild mysterious pulse. Whatever the case, it has got to be so much more brilliant and absurd than anyone has yet given it credit for. So here’s to love and madness which for all we know could be the exact same thing. And overly-frosted vanilla cake and sparkling bottles of pink champagne and poetry so gorgeous it makes you cry beautiful mascara-black tears. I mean, after all, you only get the one day.

.

Photo: self portrait which I am obviously clueless about how to crop properly

69 Replies to “Birthday Cake and Pink Champagne”

  1. Happy happy birthday!!! Beautiful post and excellent cake choice. Incredibly thankful to know you on here. Youโ€™re a genuinely kind soul and your writing hits that perfect dark-sweet spot every time. Hope you have lots of cake and coziness today, and that love reveals its strange self in ways you werenโ€™t expecting. โค๏ธโค๏ธ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Cake and coziness sounds like my favorite. ๐Ÿฅฐ Thank you so much for this gorgeous message it warms my heart more than I can say. I am SO grateful we met here in this wild world of words and hearts and dark sweet spots (I love that so so much). I treasure you and I send you big cozy hugs and champagne and frosting and love-least-expected-surprises โ€ฆ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅ‚๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ•Šโ™ฅ๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Maybe love is drama and love is peace all in the same wild mysterious pulse. Whatever the case, it has got to be so much more brilliant and absurd than anyone has yet given it credit for. So hereโ€™s to love and madness which for all we know could be the exact same thing.”

    How awfully true. I wish you the happiest of birthdays! โค

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “It is possible, I like to imagine in my little rosy heart of hearts, that I donโ€™t need to be fixed as much as I just need to be loved and that this is the truest truth about each and every last one of us. Love is perhaps a lofty and ridiculous thing to wish for on oneโ€™s birthday but maybe I do wish it anyway.”

    Love this and definitely support your wish, especially on this special day of yours!

    “Maybe love is drama and love is peace all in the same wild mysterious pulse. Whatever the case, it has got to be so much more brilliant and absurd than anyone has yet given it credit for.”

    Indeed, and far more beautiful and mysterious that we could possibly imagine. That’s my hope anyways, added on to yours.

    Happy Birthday, Miss Allison!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ever so much, Tom! ๐Ÿฅฐ Thank you so very kindly for supporting my wild wish and adding your truly beautiful hope along with it. As ever, Iโ€™m so grateful you are here. I just hope you donโ€™t really like frosting because it appears Iโ€™ve eaten it all by mistake. ๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅ‚

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Today my crocodile tears will be a token of joy for being your birthday.
    With love,
    Monica (and Jei) ๐ŸŠ โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh thank you so very kindly for your heartfelt tribute tears, dearest Monica and Jei! ๐Ÿฅบโค๏ธ I am so grateful you are here. I see also that you plan to lift weights which makes sense of course but just please be careful near the tall tower of champagne flutes arranged like a castle, youโ€™ll recall what a spectacle it became last year. Sending you big love and cheers! X ๐ŸŠโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿฅ‚

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Happiest of birthday to you, dearest Allison. Iโ€™ve been thinking about what to say, the queen of all queens of bitter-sweet literary gems that take breath away. Iโ€™ve been thinking about what to wish to someone that so beautifully shares her mind, that so marvelously takes one on a journey through places and moods that are so incredibly familiar. In the end words could not do justice to all the things I wish for you so please accept a sincere โ€œVse najboljลกe, preฤudovita dama!โ€ Much love and care! Today and always! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
    Alsoโ€ฆ may the wild within you forever soar and take you to fantastic adventures to places and moods still undiscovered! โค๏ธ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. How on earth to thank you for how enormously generous, kind, thoughtful, insightful, and genuinely uplifting you are in what you share with me. ๐Ÿฅบโค๏ธ Iโ€™m so damn grateful, dearest Danijel. You make me feel like what I do is more than I ever imagined possible and there is no gift more precious to me. Please know Iโ€™m holding it all so close to my little world-worn heart. You are a wonder and a treasure. Cheers to the creative life, the only kind Iโ€™d ever ever want. ๐Ÿฅฐโค๏ธ๐Ÿฅ‚๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ•Š

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The feeling is very much mutual, dear Allison. I hope your birthday was an absolute blast that involved vanilla cake, pink champagne, heart warming and tearing music, dancing candles, laughter, joy, fun, and adventures! You deserve it all and more! Rock on. Today, tomorrow, always! ๐Ÿฅฐโค๏ธ

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thatโ€™s right Mr. Nick Reeves! All through the night! Into the next day! Itโ€™s not a party without you, cuz! ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿฅƒ
      Thank you so much for being here and for the whiskey and for cheering on even my shit cropping ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฅฐ xoxoxo

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Happy Birthday, dear Allison! You look absolutely beautiful! May you get all the love you desire this year- that’s my wish for you! ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿงšโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿค—

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Happy Happy Solar Return, Beautiful! ๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿฆข๐Ÿชด
    You truly are such a goddess and I am so thankful for the gift of you and your most precious words you share. So glad for the magical and timely connection on this platform! I hope you had a most lovely birthday ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿคฉ Love your tattoos, by the wayโ€ฆโ€78โ€ was a GREAT year to be born, wink wink.
    Keep shining and inspiring, Angel๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿšโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ•Š
    Love, Lisa

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ah we are so kindred, dear Lisa! ๐Ÿฅฐ โ€˜78 was truly a great yearโ€ฆ thank you beyond words for your most beautiful message and birthday wishes. I am sincere when I tell you they are all coming true in wild unimaginable ways. Iโ€™m so touched and grateful to have connected with you here in this magic word space. Iโ€™m sending you biggest hugs and love, angel Lisa. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’—๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿฆ‹

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes love!! You deserve every good and perfect thing in this life ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’ I felt that hug, angel ๐Ÿ•Š๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ•ŠNow Iโ€™m curious as to what your rising and moon signs areโ€ฆ๐Ÿ˜˜โœจ

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yesss mama!!! All that fire is so so beautiful to me๐Ÿคฉโœจ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ”ฅ It also explains so much with how captivating your writing isโ€ฆI am a rising Virgo, Gemini Sun and Leo moon๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜˜

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness thank you ever so very much, my dear. What a gorgeous message you have left me, Iโ€™m so touched and so grateful. Vanilla effectโ€ฆ Iโ€™m in love with this. ๐Ÿฅฐโค๏ธ๐Ÿค๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ•Š

      Like

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