Long Fucking Gone (audio)

The known universe swirls around itself and down into the gutter with the rest of the acid rain and oil slicks which curl and puddle upon the asphalt. Sucking the last of my smoke, I toss it into the toxic mess and half expect it to flare up and burn the whole block down, every house and Halloween decoration. Every perfect lawn and quaint little floral painted mailbox. I’m not saying cute decor doesn’t have its place or even that I don’t like it, it’s just that beneath the plastic and stencils there is still emptiness. Scratch at the facade and you find more facade. It is maddening what a glossy polished surface can disguise. When I close my eyes I feel each random thought like a pin prick from the inside of my skull. The moon is in its last quarter. Banishing. A time of letting go. For certain death is all around. I walk in step with the beating heart of time marching by and I can smell the damp earth as it blends with the pewter gray sky. I’d like to empty my own head and everything in it. I’d like to start again from scratch as if nothing had ever hurt me or shaped me or tricked me into becoming whatever it is that I have become that leaves me wanting so much more. So much higher and deeper at the same time. The truth is there is nothing left for me here in this place. My body may have stayed but my soul is long, long, long fucking gone.

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