Posted on by Allison Marie Conway

Lucky Little Fucker (audio)

I can see the way the world ends in your eyes when you look at me like that. When you let me taste you it’s like candy-coated annihilation. You kill me and I like the sound of you when you breathe heavy and hard, so hard you can’t say a single word. You just let my moans fill your mouth. Fill the whole fucking house with the scent and the disgraceful noise of it.

We’re only at the beginning but let’s not ever let that part end. Let’s stay right here on the razor’s edge and let it cut us up real thin. I read everything you say later when I write it in my diary. Not with hearts around it but with swords because I can draw swords really super tiny and make them face any way I want. Sometimes they go right across the neck. Like crossing the letter t but with a blade between its teeth.

I guess you could say poets are strange that way. Words are so much more than words to us and what we say is only a sliver of what we really mean even when we get it just right there’s always something missing, or at least it feels that way. Kinda drives you mad but then we work around that, too, by diving right into the center of the chaos and standing completely still.

If you can’t keep up we will leave you fast and never look back. It’s not cause we’re mean, well, maybe it is, maybe it is but that part’s just by accident, really it’s because we know if we stick around with you you’ll kill off all the good stuff before it gets a chance to surface. You’ll keep us from getting where we need to go. Where’s that? Well, if you have to ask we might as well just leave it right there and let it shrivel up in the bright light of your innocence. And I bet innocence must be really super nice.

25 Replies to “Lucky Little Fucker (audio)”

  1. I love the darkness in this piece. I can feel the evocations of grief, intimacy, and anger here—and it is so beautiful in its portrayal. Very realistic as well. I enjoy reading your work, your prose is stunning. ❤️

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    1. Oh god Lucy, I am so deeply touched and moved by your sharing this with me. To know how it feels to you nearly brings tears to my eyes. It’s everything I could hope for when I create something. Thank you, thank you so much for being so open, so kind, and so lovely. I am thrilled you enjoy, warms my heart. ❤ ❤

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  4. Innocence is many times ignorance in disguise. While at first it’s quite wonderful to experience things for the first time wearing an invisible cloak made out of innocence, it very much loses its light if one chases it in hopes to experience the awe and wonder of the first time. It’s sad to see how many humans cling on a slowly fading memory of something that is gone instead of embracing the thrill of exploring the wilderness that lies ahead. At the same time we are addicts of beginnings when all is milk, honey and untamed lust, when devotion is abundant as is the desire to be perpetually fused together. Perhaps that is why writers love to jump into the deep end. Well, not all writers. Some writers. Those that electrify and dazzle. Writers like you. Wild, honest, awe-inspiring. You. ❤️
    Of course you push it beyond wild, honest, and awe-inspiring. By reading your words you add breathtaking into the mix… XXX

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    1. You are such a gem, I actually almost wrote ignorance instead of innocence… I really thought about that word. And you say “addicts of beginnings” and I love that so much. You express it so very well, Danijel. And I am so humbled by your kindness and openness to my words, you encourage me more than I could ever say. More than I could ever deserve. ❤️🌹🕊xxx

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      1. See? This is why adore your writings for they not only captivate but also engage. They evolve as one carries them inside for days, weeks, even months. Brilliance lives inside you and I love it that you share it with the world! ❤️
        Also, you deserve much much than words can express. 😊
        Plus!!! Your new book!!! So excited to see it! 😉❤️

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