You are saying all the things they let you say which are none of the things you are actually thinking. The pleasantries are turning my stomach and all I want to do is scream to end the bullshit, but this is life, isn’t it. Holding back. Shutting down. Slipping off. Turning away like a celestial body hurled far out into the nothingness of cold vacant space.
Desperate for any kind of flicker of honesty or truth, I take your hand and lead you away from the rest. We walk through the tall trees alone, sneakers dusting up along the dirt road which swivels and twists down to a wide open lake, rippled with soft waves and dotted with the heads of black geese off in the distance. You drop my hand and shove yours into the pockets of your worn out jeans.
I know you are going through some shit you don’t want to talk about but underneath it all, you desperately do. Without a word, we light up our cigarettes and joke about how we really should quit as the evening sky slides slowly into dark. The crickets are buzzing louder in unison as the little fireflies begin floating out from under the pines, climbing higher and higher into the midsummer air.
It isn’t easy, is it, angel. To tell me about these twisted desires of yours, the ones which they forbid but which burn so much light into your mangled heart that sometimes it makes it hard to breathe without tears streaming down your tired face. There is a monster inside that is sharpening its teeth. There are voices in that head of yours. Visions full of ecstatic dreams I pray to the heavens you will one day let me see.
. . . .
Sometimes it feels like there’s a story unfolding inside me. Something about a boy and a girl and the darkness which compels them to get together and do strange, beautiful things.
Allison Marie Conway 
You do have a talent for writing, Allison. Dark and potentially toxic this relationship you describe.
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Thank you so very kindly, VJ. Yes, it may be. 🙏🏻🌹
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So welcome. Waiting for your novel.
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I am so humbled by your words, VJ! Thank you so much.
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My pleasure!
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This! We need a lot more of this! I absolutely love it how it starts off almost in a sort of a rage mode. Direct and raw. It screams daggers that plunge deep inside. Then a shift happens. A kind of a “rising above” moment that foreshadows a reversal of emotions. Anger replaced by an intriguing fusion of empathy and yearning that liberates yet in a way drains you. Leaves you desire for more. To be able to witness. To be able to see. To be able to feel.
These are the feels that one reading of this marvelous gem awoke. I want them to linger within. For some reason many times after reading your breathtaking prose I feel as if my soul is somehow lighter. Perhaps it’s because it just witnessed something that feels familiar. Thank you for sharing your world, rockstar Allison! ❤️❤️❤️
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I absolutely adore your comment, every single word of it. To know you are moved so deeply is everything to me, I am so very grateful and ecstatic for it. And I love the most that your soul feels lighter for having spent time with mine. Thank you, sweet kindred friend. For more than I could ever say. ❤ ❤ ❤
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It’s an absolute gift to find an author that so breathtakingly creates the world that feels like home in so many ways yet at the same time exposes so much of the world that until now was hidden or not able to be seen. An even greater gift is to have a chance to exchange ideas and thoughts with that same author. Feels like once in a life time kind of a thing and I am eternally grateful to have “met” such an author – you, fantastic Allison. ❤️❤️❤️
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Oh my heavens, dear Danijel. I am so very eternally grateful, too. ❤ ❤ ❤
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❤️❤️❤️
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