All the Way to Heaven

We push back against the blinking chaos, invisibly and without heart. The heart has been removed. You want to analyze and to turn me over and over like a mystery, you who are looking for something other than the sweet of my tongue, the salt of my mind.

Your arms around my bare summer shoulders. The scent of paradise is almost too much to take without crumbling beneath her enchanting fingers. The sea is calm and glittering in a hazy sunshine mist, waves slow to ripples against your naked feet. Shivers in the small curve of warm afternoon.

I am looking for messages on the sand, listening for voices in the wide blue distance. When this life calls to me she unfastens the knots in my chest. Flowers in the aching between my legs. We reach for her together, coaxing her supple petals, beads of nectar hot like sin.

At night we pour the drinks. At night we watch for stars to appear above us all around and speak about our dreams. Dark desires beating inside my skin. I wonder why living has to be so hard when the air is so soft it melts me with grace, melts me with elegance. Makes me numb enough to forget the pain is never more than a tear stain away.

Touch me in that way you do that lights a fire enough to get me high on flesh and bone and mouth. Press into me, make me open, turn me into something more beautiful than I am. Wreck me, take everything. My eyes like moonlight flashing along a black midnight ocean.

Maybe in the end none of anything will matter. I don’t belong here but I don’t want to go. I pray to something in which I once believed. Please give me something I can hold, feel like smooth cool stone in my palm. Keep like a golden locket dangling secretly between my breasts.

A single star flashes its sparkling particles across the vacant night sky and then disappears into dusted oblivion. Kiss me so the spinning stops. Stroke me so I can remember what pleasure feels like pulsing me out past the noise. Please just don’t let me disappear.