Flip a coin. Heads I win, tails you lose.
Or something like that.
At the center of each of my questions are even more questions which makes you crazy but secretly I hope it keeps you close. If I have more questions, how can you leave me unanswered?
Besides, I like your answers and the way you put so much thought into crafting them. You are arrogant, selfish, maddening. But there’s something about the way your voice simmers like an electric current vibrating across my chest that I crave with everything I’m made of.
It crackles and snaps me awake to a part of myself which for too long has lay lifeless at the bottom of a deep dark abyss. When I look into your beautiful eyes I can’t tell if I need you inside me or need you to walk away and never come back.
You like to start shit you don’t bother to finish. You talk a good game but when it’s time to put out you disappear like a mist that dissipates across the cool surface of a lake at dawn in the last rays of summer.
At the center of you there are no questions, only a myth.
The illusion of permanence. The illusion of desire fulfilled.
These things are not real. These things are not safe.
In your mind, you imagine me giving myself to you completely. You spit out the bones and drown in what delights you which is mostly the flesh.
Only the flesh.
People are savage inside, and dirty. Like animals. Affectionate, primal, hungry. But not as loyal. That’s the tricky part.
As you brush your hand against my hand but do not take it in yours, I catch your eye and my breath catches tight in my throat.
The dead cold dampness of the middle of the day hangs around me like a wet tee shirt, and makes me shiver from head to toe.
Photo by Soroush Karimi