Posted on by Allison Marie Conway

You Do Not Need to Apologize for Being Intelligent

You do not need to apologize for your intelligence.

The number of times I have been attacked, shamed, ridiculed, mansplained, dismissed, unfriended, laughed at, yelled at, punished, humiliated, ignored, told to be quiet, told I talk too much, all because I am a woman with a brain, intelligence, and savvy, and am highly capable of critical and creative thought is an enormous amount of times.

Because this trash is normalized. It spreads rapidly, sometimes almost imperceptibly, through our culture, society, community, family.

We are “uncomfortable” with intelligent women being intelligent – exploring and displaying their intelligence unapologetically in their daily lives.

In public.

In full view.

Out loud.

So we patronize them.

We minimize them.

Cut them off.

Cut them down.

And so we women have to lean into that discomfort. Press it. Make them feel it. Don’t let up. Wake up. Pay attention to what is really happening when someone makes light of your thoughts, your intelligence, your ideas. When someone makes fun of you or dismisses you for knowing more than they know.

You are scaring them.

You are upsetting the balance of power they need you to believe in in order for it to continue to exist.

Fuck that.

Do not shrink yourself to make them feel more comfortable. Expand yourself. Expand your mind. Your reach. Your prowess.

Say what you know. Say what you think. Say what you believe. Tell of what you experience. Speak and breathe your ideas, visions, and thoughts into writing. Into art. Into existence. Into the light.

There are many, many deeply thinking, extensively well read, well researched, well spoken, powerfully moving women of every race, orientation, and background.

Seek them out. Read them. Uplift them. Pay them. Support them. Follow them.

And if you are one of these women – one of us – please don’t ever, ever let up.

No apologies.

No regrets.

 

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Photo by Yohann LIBOT

 

20 Replies to “You Do Not Need to Apologize for Being Intelligent”

  2. OMG Allison, You are so beautifully wonderful when you are standing up on a Soapbox and Letting it Rip!! Telling it like it is!! Maybe you need to limit your contact, as much as possible, to other side of the electorate??? LOL!

    Sometimes it’s good to have a checklist of stupid things that people say that ring a bell and put them on the delete immediately list – You may want to adopt a saying I just ran across that is especially appropriate for intelligent, clever, quick witted, strong and beautiful women – “Not Everyone Is Worthy Of Your Time!!”
    Love this, Loved it!! Bellissimo, Dear Bellissimo!
    xoxox 😊💕🌹😁✨

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    1. Oh love, the more a woman asserts and expands herself, the more resistance she will be met with. There is no way to avoid it. The more radiant we are, the more backlash there is. We need more people to be aware of our experience and to not only be mindful of it but speak and act out against it. I am hopeful that my words will be of service in this regard. And the beat goes on… thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment, Chuck. Please be well and take good care. xo ❤️💕🌹

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      1. It seems guys are really scareddy cats when it comes to facing a woman who is an equal or worse yet superior to them. Yes, more people need to hear about gender bias and discrimination. Your words will definitely be of service in this cause and I was happy to do my part in spreading them to followers!

        I Have always said, “The World would be a much better place if women ran the world!!”. I will take good care, Dear and you do the same!! I’m hunkered down in the Austin, TX area.
        xoxox 😊💕🌹😁✨

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      2. Hey You, Really loved your line – “The more radiant we are, the more backlash there is. We need more people to be aware of our experience and to not only be mindful of it but speak and act out against it. Loved the RADIANT!!

        So, your comment got me to thinking, after rereading it – You should take this comment and make it a letter to Oprah, Michelle Obama, Ellen and others and attach this post! If you want more people to be aware You (and I’d be willing to pitch in) have to Make them aware – bang pots together, set off fireworks etc. to get their attention!! I think having more women running for office is a good “Tiny Step”. Maybe this could be a priority for the Biden Administration – Send it to Biden and Harris too. Nancy Pelosi, also!! What do you think. Should we stir up some good trouble??? LOL
        xoxox 😘💕🌹😁👍✨

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    1. Oh George, I agree. It is exhausting to say the least. As I wrote this piece, I had my niece and my young lady cousins in my mind’s eye, in my heart. And I will say this and say this and say this until they are free. Thank you so much for being one of the good guys, George. We need you.

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  5. Oh, your words ring a crystal bell of truth. Too many times, I have suffered the slings and arrows of those who are less informed, too full of pride, and too short-sighted to entertain the thought that a mere woman may know more than they do. Fragile egos be damned. “I told you so,” is not a consolation prize. Life is too short to tolerate disrespect. With surgical precision, I cut those people from my circle.

    Thank you for the reminder. 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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