Posted on by Allison Marie Conway

It’s Not Happiness We Want – It’s Wilderness

I don’t think ‘happiness’ is the thing we’re after. I think we want stimulation. Work to do with our whole body, mind, soul, spirit, and being.

We don’t want more blueprints, we want more wilderness. To trust our wild.

Which has nothing to do with recklessness. You would not observe a beautiful wolf in all of her prowess and majesty and consider her wild reckless. No.

Wild is deeply, deeply connected to clear vision. To a heightened and steady awareness of self, attentiveness to self and surroundings.

A deep unshakable instinct. A sureness. A deep trust of self. Of intuition.

It knows the pangs of its own hunger. The growl of its own desire.

It does not apologize for what it is. It has no reason to. It knows the tenderness of its own nature. The protectiveness of its own nurture.

It does not need to scream or argue or prove its existence or its worth. Wild knows it is alive, makes no excuses for its reverence toward the natural world.

She takes her place in the cycle of cycles, bows to the seasons as they turn within her, over and over again, renewing, regenerating.

My wild is poetic. Sensual. Dark. Spiritual. Intuitive. Quiet. Fierce. Intelligent. Expressive. Observant. Nimble. Obsessive. Curious. So curious.

Your wild is you. It is you untamed. It is you most free, most real, most powerful. Most naked. Most unashamed.

And the thing is, ‘happiness’ is fine but it is fickle, it is fleeting, you cannot trust it because it cannot sustain you through thick and thin. It is not strong, wide, or deep enough.

But your wild, mm. It is the only part of you that knows the way. The way of expression, the way of life.

And you can choose to trust your wild or not.

But you can never separate yourself from it.

 

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Photo by Matheus Ferrero 

35 Replies to “It’s Not Happiness We Want – It’s Wilderness”

  2. As always, dearest soul, your words are unearthing deeper realities that are not always welcomed for they challenge one to sincerely face self. In this case it’s the wilderness. The wild in you that one might have tamed or worse yet abandoned long time ago because the nature of the wild is just that – wild! You are so right when you say that this wilderness doesn’t mean unhinged or reckless. It’s untamed, uncensored, unconditioned you. Facing such “you” is hard because it can expose the you that is tamed and most of the time beaten, depressed, gone. Funny how we choose to then run from the wild instead of embracing it for it shows us the way we are if we liberate self. Wilderness calls us always. It’s never too late to heed its call… xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. As ever, I love to hear your thoughts, and I thank you so much for sharing them here with me. All you have said resonates with me. I am taken in by your acknowledging some realities are not always welcomed for they are a struggle, a challenge. The wild can be quite frightening as we go deeper into the dark. Bless you. I treasure your brave humble heart. ❤ xxx

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      1. Awe. This warmed my heart, my soul, my be. I love it your word wizardry so beautifully engages the mind and the spirit. your observations are astute and insightful. I guess I could say that your writing loosens the grip I hold over the wild inside me. I rarely engage for I feel I have not much to say yet here I feel not like a stranger at all. Thank you deeply for your words, your brilliance, your care. ❤ xxx

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  3. Very nice. Strong passionate prose that reminds me of things I myself have been thinking about lately. This is the kind of writing I wish I would see more often on WordPress. Most people bore me because they don’t summon this. Well done.

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      1. Are you also a photographer? Or at the very least it looks like maybe you edit the photos around here to have a consistent color dynamic which matches your writing content? It’s nice the way the images match your general vibe.

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  4. “And the thing is, ‘happiness’ is fine but it is fickle, it is fleeting, you cannot trust it because it cannot sustain you through thick and thin. It is not strong, wide, or deep enough. But your wild, mm. It is the only part of you that knows the way. The way of expression, the way of life.”

    Indeed. To borrow from my “nerdy side”: This is The Way.

    Liked by 1 person

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        1. Haha, oh! Oh no I am so sorry I do not know about Star Wars! 🙂 But I think Campbell’s concept of the Journey is sort of the undercurrent or theme of all battles between good and evil? Or darkness and light… something like this. That there is a pattern. And I think Star Wars is this theme, too… some say maybe a religious theme…?

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  8. Pingback: It’s Not Happiness We Want – It’s Wilderness – finding Dailey peace

  10. You are so right! I often dream of a simpler, more rural life… maybe someday. Humans might have come a long way technologically speaking but it feels so unnatural sometimes and that has led to our brains unraveling. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

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  12. Pingback: It’s Not Happiness We Want – It’s Wilderness – Right move

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