// prisoners of love //

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Take these words for I am deviant, I am full to the throat of the things I desire, the heavy punishing conflicts I turn over and over again in my cavorting mind, can nothing satiate these caustic depths. I chant melodic hymns to navigate the hallways in my blindness, threading these tender ashen fingers against the night wind as she envelops me. Take from me this graceful bow to the aching I feel in constant, a need I wake up starving for and walk through my days alongside, reverently, gratefully, obediently.

You cannot imagine the noise, beloved, the chaos in the violent light of this mad world, this riotous menacing landscape hell bent on denying my psychic chemical longing for a thing unseen. We cut our hearts free and hang them from empty trees, trade our bodies to lose our minds.

I adore the things they despise. I take all corruptions as part of myself and attempt to glean and restructure the patterns they refuse to see: when you expect porcelain skin against your patient tongue, I press myself to your smoldering warmth, broken shards of light, refracted, disconnected. A hunted shadow guides me: breathes with my lungs, walks with my stride, nourishes, sings and seduces through me. She is the dark violet flame, I am her splintered kindling, together we are endless nights burning ceaseless voracious fire.

Faceless moving figures, beautiful angelic figures, spread themselves on lavish lawns before me; a time for worship, a time for healing, the world is at war without and within, captured on film, clipping in dreams, coming undone in playbooks, in theaters, in stained glass windows and we are becoming stoic screens. I undress in ways they never see, eyes closed, soul gliding just above the ground. Take the words, swallow the words that hook us, collect us, recognize us, seep into us like rain penetrates the rich dark earth of our secret fertile places, the textured cream pages within me rupture and bloom as I bleed for them.

There is a spirit there in the midst, shining somewhere between the artist’s blood and our own disturbing self reflection. A benevolent message is being written by ghost hands behind the walls. Something that mirrors us, reminds us of who we are, who we always were, even beyond death, we carry each other. Poetry is not dead as long as it is listening. Words written under the cloak of this human shell, etched into these crumbling toxic bones. This is me. I pray to a god I can no longer taste. Take these words from me as the universe inverts itself, returns life to us, a faithful companion in all of its brutal handsome generosity.

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14 thoughts on “// prisoners of love //

  1. Ward Clever

    “I adore the things they despise” is one of the most profoundly applicable phrases in my life. You write with an incredible intensity, like something is chasing you and you must get all the words out before it catches up. Words seem to swirl in your head like a hurricane with no eye, emerging on my screen, picking us both up in the gale, and setting us down miles from where we started.

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear Ward, I am so glad you found something here that resonates for you, that is the very best I could hope for. And the way you write about my writing truly moves my soul. It is fascinating to hear the way these words affect you, and so very beautiful. I am grateful beyond the beyond, thank you endless. ❤

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  2. Swarn Gill

    It’s been a tough few days and I needed to immerse myself in your words Allison. Thank you for putting this out there. Perhaps it’s just because the election and the ensuing events are on my mind that I see this in the poem. As I read this two phrases were going through my mind “Where is the love?” and a line of lyrics from a song I like very much that says “All the time we get by just trying to figure out our lives, like a fade out”

    Your poem feels like a call…a call for introspection, a call to listen, a call to embrace each other and the light and darkness inherent in the complexity of humanity and in the universe. Only by holding both in our arms can we hope to unite each other, and also heal ourselves. We too often fail to recognize how much our emotions can get the better of us and how it can cause us to lash out…and even if such anger last a few seconds, it is a mini-violence where without paying attention and without listening can blow up into something far worse. The world is noisy right now…I feel noisy…your poem, as it calls for introspection also calls for quiet. And a gentler expression of the noise that hills our heads.

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      My dear friend, I am away for a few days and cannot respond properly. I am fully shattered by the events of recent days, I am heartbroken. We need now more than ever to cling to love. In the meanwhile I invite you to read my Instagram post from Wednesday 11/9. I hope in some way it may offer you some comfort. Speak soon, and I send you love and strength and peace. ❤️

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    2. Allison Marie Post author

      I adore your comment, dear Swarn, and read it multiple times. So much wisdom in you, love. Thank you so much for that. It is noisy indeed. I feel honored that these words called you to introspection. I think our collective lack of empathy is killing our unity, and to be able to empathize, to connect without anger, without judgment, takes great self care, self knowledge, and deep listening. I am beyond grateful to know you are out there, being beautiful, thoughtful, compassionate you. Never stop. Namaste, friend. ❤

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear friend, I was glad to read your post. I’m still sorting myself out in terms of what is happening so please forgive that I did not comment. As always, your words and thoughts were a treasure to read. I hope your weekend was a good one. Enjoy this Monday for all the blessings she bestows. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Swarn Gill

        No need to apologize for not commenting. These are confusing and uncertain times and this leaves the mind disorganized. For me reading, research, writing, trying to organize the chaos in my mind is what I’m trying to do right now. Just knowing you stopped by was comforting, because I need reminders of the good and beautiful souls in this world and you are certainly one of those. If we are to enter a period of greater struggle, it is important to remember that beauty like yours is what we are fighting for. Humanity is a species who is stronger when together. We will have to work harder to bring people together, but it’s nice to have some people in your life who you don’t have to work that hard to have that feeling of togetherness. Thank you for all the love you put into the world Allison. ❤

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