I will write it all for you in golden bound volumes, reach into your chest and pull your seven headed demon hearts out for you and ask for nothing, but please understand me, lover, I absorb everything. There is an electricity in everything I touch, everything I encounter becomes spitting, surging, violent evolution within me.
Will you stand with it?
Will you drink from it?
I am the glow and the vacancy of failures, mistakes, torments, unfinished kisses, the wreckage and carnage of longings, stretched and starved beyond my control. I seethe, I breathe, I need, I crave. I summon with every cell the savagery and revelation of the depths of lustrous, compassionate love. My tongue is forgiveness, my body is sacrament, my pain divine and generous. And even as you, behind the mouth panting in your eyes, stand still before me, I can feel your energy like stacks of steel cities crashing through storm clouds, slamming into a frightened earth like meteors, all the world is dust and flame: for you. The frame of your features is my falling toward you and away in equal measure.
I shatter with desire and all I need is for you to try to hold onto me.
Curiosity is the only faith, those who condemn the curious are a threat only unto themselves. Where the liquid wings of mystery are severed, the punishment for sins not committed begins, sadness of the distorted ages steps in. Welcome to my universe where I am in bed with life and death in constant, my mind always chewing, chewing, chewing and the more I surrender the more appears, like throwing my body against a mirror. I write every syllable in spite of every other mad impulse that snaps and explodes inside of me, walls begin at the tips of my feet and extend themselves far off into the darkness I recognize, trust, but can no longer see.
Voices on the edges of my hands. Noises like the opening of doors, slowly, upon lovers in the ecstatic moans of headless, mindless pleasure. Love is forbearance and some things are just easier to believe.
I am a world of worlds inside, we melt, we burn, we regenerate, I breathe and new life begins, I shed tears to bury what’s dying inside. I have become the one who pulls at the tide of the oceans with her fists, raises mountains and even as I stand still the planetary spheres I reach for are spinning, spinning, a river of private thrumming conditioning runs through me in constant. and as my pieces are wrenched and separated they are sealed together by the nectar dripping at the pressure of my own compassionate hands, my ever-loving alien eyes turn forever inward, inward, inward.
I am strange and I am a stranger. Know this as you touch me, remember this when I am gone. For everything you offer me I submit myself to willingly, and everything you withhold becomes my naked longing need. The silent night comes on like the smoke of addiction; my criminal love, you take me with you in the marrow of your beautiful bones.
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Allison Marie Conway 