// if this is madness //

wiress

Learning to love is woman after woman dying inside of me.

I have been consumed by desire and left to live on the ashes that remain, a restless hunger for all dimensions of the texture of forbidden things, stolen feelings, the cruel soak of sadness, the tender pleasure of villainous blood mixed into my blood.

As I watch you bow your head, I catch the portrait of an expression I am tethered to, these piercing haunts, my spirit swells, aching with lust and emotion. We the creatives, doomed and redeemed only ever to ourselves. I am a silent song on the wind in the sharp blue streaks of an endless night, a ghost guide, a break in the bend of the clipping of wings, invisible, intrusive, mad. In my fumbling hands I carry the sand of the dreams of the dawning of an earth I remember with affection enough to tear me at the seams. We are vanishing, we are free.

All is naked elegant promise on its knees; all is silken threaded veins through an ancient heart that beats eternal.

Swallowed whole, I’m arranging flowers on the grave of the things I used to believe. Let go, let go, let it all go, tears are but reflecting pools. Dark pushing light, light pushing dark, the relentless hands of a pulsating God.

I am lost; into this handsome death I am falling, falling; to wander without a name is to collect pieces of myself for burial.

There will be rain and sweetness in their singing, souls shifting like blinks of eyelashes against the turning of a concrete moon.

I can feel a secret in the humid air that hangs itself around my pleading heart. I am borrowed from your night sweats, a burden and a siren, I am the rays of a truth to which you are blind. Your hands are throbbing against my disease, this pain interrupts my mouth but will not leave. Intimacy is the darkness that calls to me, builds castles in my bed, begs, delivers, and fills me.

Poetry is a way to keep breathing, the words spilled forth and those withheld forever weaving the soft pale of my tired skin.

Blessed are we the wounded, the ones who sense the coming storms and do not run.

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15 thoughts on “// if this is madness //

  1. awyldlovenote

    This is mind blowing, and hauntingly beautiful. I will carry these words in my heart. Within my flesh, deep in my veins, because they mean so much to me. So, very much, to me. Thank you for being a beautiful soul. A kindred spirit that evokes such energy, and passion within me, stirring my soul to say more. Do more. Be more. Live more. Love more.
    I love you to the moon and back. πŸ’œ

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Beautiful Samira, Your comment brought tears to my eyes, love. Take these words, they are yours. Thank you, thank you for being and connecting. It means more than all the words. Mad affection, fierce love always. xx ❀

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  2. Mr Modigliani

    I think Laura Krusemark or myself should illustrate one of your poems. And I am intrigued by the pain that inspires you to pour out your soul.

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Oh my, what a deep thrill and honor that would be, to have images inspired by my words! And I have such deep admiration for both yours and Laura’s beautiful gifts. I am working through deeps pools of things, as all true seekers do: into the dark, into the light. I feel there is a release swelling in me, the only way it comes, it seems, is through the words. Thank you again.

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      1. Mr Modigliani

        I understand the release part. These things just dwell inside me and both writing and art are how I let go of them

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  3. ilyasstory

    I was really moved by this one. It had me sitting on the verge of tears and hope. I really loved it! Thank you for the journey. I have read it several times and anticipate that this will be one that I will return to again and again. Much love sister warrior. Namaste.

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    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Oh Ilyas, your comment is so beautiful, I am so touched this moved you so. Knowing that the words serve you deep, that means everything to me. Take them, take them, they are yours. I’m so grateful. Much much love, brother warrior soul. Blessings eternal. Namaste.

      Liked by 1 person

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